On Perspective

Strangers collide everyday in the crowd but there isn't always a connection. We keep moving though and make introductions along the way. We graciously seek, often not knowing who or what lies ahead. Light of heart and quick of feet, we travel with a handful of luck and a handful of hope. Patience steadies us. Humility humbles us. Free will guides us.

Every now and then, a stranger compels us to take pause and reach out despite unfavorable odds or less than ideal circumstances. The crowd swirls around you and you simply try your best to hold your ground and unearth the stranger. You drown out the noise until all that remains is a whisper.

Every now and then, you stumble and a kind stranger breaks your fall. You exchange a touch but not what lives in the smallest corners of your mind. The encounter is sweet but short-lived, and you do not seek more.

We cannot command the crowd or the frenzied pace at which it moves. We accept that these collisions, while inevitable, are also a product of chance. We relish the experience, the feeling, the moment. We are thankful for it all because even if the connection is fleeting or flawed, the stranger's impression remains with us. And though we may walk away heavy of heart, we are also enriched by the stranger - a fellow seeker who found us among the crowd and gave freely without regret or promise.

A Poem of Friendship

We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have

We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save

I don't want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak

I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together

-Nikki Giovanni

Happy birthday, girls : )

Clarity

It seems to have been a week of major upsets. Things didn't work out for J. Things doubly didn't work out for P. And yet, they are coping far better than another would in their situations. Perhaps the male mindset really works differently. I imagine it's not easy to appear vulnerable, even in front of gal pals. But something tells me they already have a gameplan and will be okay with whatever the morning after brings.

Bad things happen to good people. I accept that fact of life. But it's tough being an observer. I wish I had better advice to offer or even some answers, but I suppose comforting words (and a beer) will have to do for now.

I heard myself telling J/P to give himself time to gain a fresh perspective and greater clarity on the situation. While I believe in the present and in creating our own opportunities, I also believe that sometimes answers can only reveal itself in time. It can be a painful waiting game, but it also can be very telling and essential to the healing process.

I used to tell A that no man is an island. With good friends in life, no (wo)man should linger in solitude or despair.

I've heard that love makes a man weak.
It puts butterflies in his stomach,
Music in his heart,
And bounce in his stride.
His face gleams with pride
And his smile shines true.
Happiness overcomes him.
Visions of Her cloud his mind.
Love puts ache in his bones
And fire in his soul.
I've heard that love makes a man.

9/14/00

the small things....

*Walking in the rain
*Trusting your instincts
*Recognizing coincidences
*Sleeping in
*Seeing children laugh
*Smiling at strangers
*Eating to your heart's content
*Reveling in night
*Dreaming in color
*Embracing your wild streak
*Speaking your mind
*Enjoying the silence
*Traveling near and far
*Being a kid at heart
*Believing in everyday marvels
*Following the moon and stars
*Keeping others' secrets
*Taking a deep breath
*Standing still

And one not-so-small thing (quoting GB quoting another): loving the one you're with.

I see a pattern developing. V is now the fifth friend to tell me that I'm a man when it comes to showing emotion and being emotional. Apparently, I'm an anomaly. Where most women may react to stressful situations with free flowing emotion, I remain calm and collected (in most cases). Short of being called a tin man or a robot (both of which I'm not), I can't think of another comparison for my "man" behavior. In truth, I don't deny this claim, but I can't really help the way I'm wired. And I don't think I should have to change what's natural to me. I've made it this far in life and I think I'm a fairly stable person. At the same time, my friends also know me as a sentimental person. I know this too. I knew it when I was in grade school.

Then again, what man would write about feelings and sentiments? So I spare someone a cry or awkward outburst. Maybe it's an act of kindness. Maybe I'm strangely unique. What's important to me is that I'm in touch with my feelings and deeply passionate about people and things that matter most to me. For better or worse, I'm just me.

Bday

Handsome told me to hold on to my twenties. Hold on to them for dear life? Perhaps. But then again, I've never quite felt my real age nor dwelled on the number. I've always known myself to be an old soul and a kid at heart. So instead of counting time that has gone by, I try to measure myself in terms of self-improvement and happiness.

Years ago, I was in a card shop browsing their selection of keepsakes. A few vases caught my eye, partly because I'm obsessed with any and all containers and partly because one was imprinted with the words "be happy." I thought it was a simple and inspiring mantra. It was also a gentle reminder to myself about what is important in life -- to find happiness in everything I pursue.

The questions I often ask myself - am I the best person I can be, am I unequivocally kind to those I know and love, am I creating and recognizing opportunities - begin and end with happiness. I'm happy when I find time to reflect and indulge in introspection. I'm happy to meet new people and experience new things and places. I'm happiest when I learn and can share learnings with others.

I know I still have a lot to learn and experience, but luckily, my timeline is my own. I'm a work in progress and I accept that. And with that knowledge, I intend to chase happiness with all of the conviction and passion that life experience brings.